Vacation vs. Family trips

In the summer of 2006 Kara, 6 months pregnant at the time, and I, took our two daughters, three and six, to Sea World. This was a much-anticipated “vacation” for us and the first one we had taken since we had started a family. We were excited to have fun, rest, relax, and enjoy just being together. Part of that happened, but some of it was just a pipe dream. We packed up our little family and headed down to San Diego from our home in Elk Grove. We traveled by day making so many stops. Time to pee, take a break, get a snack, because the ones we brought were not as good as highway gas station ones, and hitting traffic. My travel timeline was all messed up. When we finally arrived, we were ready for the resting and the relaxing, however we quickly learned that taking a family on vacation is very different from when were DINKS (Double Income No KidS). There was not relaxing, no resting, instead there was lots of whining dirty diapers and parents needing to be the entertainment. And who would have through that a regular hotel room would become a jungle gym for the kids…….. This was a great learning experience. Just last week we took another family trip, camping with our church. We actually had a great time. We hung out with friends, made new friends, spent time in God’s word. Katie was baptized and Kyle threw up. Of course, no family trip would be complete with throw up. We had a great time. We bonded as a family, enjoyed one another’s company, and just enjoyed being together. Family trips, or vacations are not just about having fun, but they are about enjoying time with one another. We had a great time will have many more. I hope that you and your family will also make memories together through family trips.

Leadership lessons from a horse

Recently I watched a documentary called “Buck”. This documentary was about Buck Brannaman the inspiration and technical advisor for the Robert Redford movie The Horse Whisperer. This documentary illustrates the way Buck “breaks” or befriends a horse. For many years humans would “break” a horse by literally beating the horse. The cowboy would use various physical devices and fear tactics to train the horse. Devices like “hock cobbles” to hold the head down when the rear feet would move. They would use whips, and other beating tactics to bring the horse into submission. This submissive pattern of training would allow the cowboy to show the horse that he was the boss. Buck uses a different approach. It is an approach of care and understanding toward the horse. In order to “break” the horse he “befriends” the horse. He shows the horse respect and the horse in return respects him. I believe that Buck’s approach to know the horse and learn why he does what he does is something that can translate to people as well. Think of some of these approaches as a manager or leader of people. For so long the standard approach for managers was information is power and fear. “Do what I say, no explanations, just because I said.” Approaches of influence take on manifestations in the workplace like, political games, mind games, and lack of communication.

“Leadership is influence”, according to John Maxwell, and influence is a tool that can be used in many ways. You can influence with fear and power tactics, things like implying that do this or lose your job or using the “you’re on a need to know basis and you do not need to know”. These types of tactics can work to have standard outcomes, but I would suggest that another route would be even better. As a leader, communication is key. By offering more in communication to your subordinates and colleagues, I believe you inspire more creativity and better outcomes. In today’s world, it seems as though there is a need for more creativity. With financial markets in flux, and ongoing challenges with leadership in companies and countries, it seems as though in order to survive more and more companies and leaders need to be as creative as possible to stay ahead of the game. As we have a world that is unsettled, I think a different approach might be worth a try. Try Buck’s approach and let me know if it works. Try befriending you colleagues and subordinates, see if you get more done, and are able to leverage more creativity? See if this approach also makes you happier as a boss. Good luck and share your findings either on this blog or via twitter @joeayer.

Being a Dad

Tonight I got to experience the awesomeness of being a Dad. Don’t get me wrong every day of my 11 years of being a father have been great. Sometime exciting, sometimes scary, and always an adventure. Today between a light cleaning of the house, going to church, having the cable guy come out twice to fix the cable and working on science projects with the girls and writing my own paper for school, I somehow had time for a little bit of reflection on being a Dad. Tonight the oldest had a tough time going to sleep. I found myself needing to cuddle her to get her to calm down and fall asleep. While I laid there I realized that she is growing up, but she still needs her Daddy. I serve as the protector, comforter, teacher and leader. How I carry myself, sets the tone for her in the future. I am so luck and happy to be a Dad, but I also have a huge responsibility. I think I have always known it was there, but tonight I realized I need to focus on it more.
-J

Top ten things I learned in Montreal Canada

Top ten things I learned spending some time in Montreal Canada

10. The McDonalds golden arches do not always have to be golden in Canada, but the food tastes the same.
9. People in Montreal like to walk and ride bikes. In fact you can rent a bike from a machine for $5 and ride around, just like a Redbox DVD. http://www.bixi.com/
8. Most people speak French and English (except the guys at dairy queen, they only spoke French)
7. American money and Canadian money are currently trading straight across one for one.
6. I do not think there are any fat people here in Canada. Canadians eat well, and the food does not seem low fat, but nobody seems to be fat. Must be all of the bike riding and walking.
5. There is a rich history here in Canada. Lots of old buildings and cathedrals and art in public places.
4. There are many food places in Montreal. You can get just about anything, but it helps to be able to read and speak French.
3. Canadians do not seem to like ice. Any time I order a coke or even water, the restaurant does not have ice. Weird, maybe it is all of the snow in the winter??
2. If you want to stay at a nice hotel the Place de Armes in Montreal is wonderful. Website: http://www.hotelplacedarmes.com/ Turn down service every night, Jacuzzi bathtubs in the rooms and overall just very nice.
1. The only people I have heard say eh! Are the homeless people on the street asking for money or making snide remarks to women as they pass.

I highly recommend visiting this city. You will enjoy your time. I did not get to take an official tour, but I did do some bike riding and saw lots of the town. For more info check me out on Twitter. www.Twitter.com/joeayer

Dad got a new computer

Look out Dad has a new computer

Recently my Dad got a new laptop. This was amazing to me as I have been on him for years to get something new that would allow him to communicate with the rest of the world including my kids, his 3 grandchildren, in California. He was one of the only people that I had even heard of that changed the internal clock battery in his previous 15 year old e-machine. Of course he was still on dialup in living in the great state of Georgia, even though many of his neighbors had broadband and wireless routers that they offered to share.

Saturday Dad and I and the kids had a Skype call. This was a huge eye opening experience for my dad. He was able to see and hear his grandchildren and vice versa. This opportunity to interact with them in a way that he has not been able to do for a couple of years, was great.
While plane tickets are expensive, this has become a great alternative to more regular visits.

Dad, thanks for getting a new computer, now we have to get you on facebook!!!!!